


I Know I Want You To Myself Again

by nothingwithoutyouxo



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 17:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17390303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingwithoutyouxo/pseuds/nothingwithoutyouxo
Summary: While deciding whether to rejoin the basketball team for the next season, Justin is also battling with how to tell everyone about his relationship with Clay.





	I Know I Want You To Myself Again

**Author's Note:**

> Hello !! Sorry for dropping two fics for this show within like three days months ago and then dropping off the face of the planet. Don’t worry, I’ve still been thinking about these two. This just took forever to write. 
> 
> This is for my friend Hannah, who’s waited so very patiently for this to be finished. The title is from Glasgow by Catfish and the Bottlemen.

“You have to at least consider it,” Zach was saying. There were at least four different conversations happening at their table in that moment, but this was the one that Justin had been sucked into.

 

He wasn’t sure what to say. Zach had been trying to convince him to come back for the next basketball season for the better part of two weeks. He had no idea why he was being so resistant. He missed basketball. Missed his team. Missed the games. He missed being captain, but with everything that had gone down over the past few months he wasn’t sure if getting back into a sport was the best idea. Whether that was a responsible thought or not, he couldn’t really tell.

 

“You’re our best player. We need our captain back.”

 

That alone was just about enough to convince him. “What do you think?” he asked, turning to Clay who was sitting just far enough from him that they seemed platonic. It wasn’t what either of them wanted but having everyone at school know about them was too risky at this stage. At least, that’s what it felt like.

 

“What does it matter what I think?” he replied, not looking up at him.

 

He was incredibly aware of just how many people were around, all the ears and eyes that couldn’t really be trusted. “Your opinion matters,” he lowered his voice, hoping that no one heard him.

 

Clay continued to stare down at his food but he smiled. “You seemed to really like basketball,” he shrugged. “If your team needs you then go for it.”

 

“What about my grades?”

 

Zach laughed and Justin realised just how ridiculous that was for him to say. It wasn’t something he would have worried about a few months ago.

 

“Your grades are fine,” Clay reassured. “If you fall behind at any point I’ll just tutor you or whatever.”

 

He was right. There really weren’t any reasons for him _not_ to just join the team again. Anything he came up with at this point would just be a last minute desperate attempt.

 

“If it helps, with Bryce and Monty gone everyone’s more normal than they’ve been in forever,” Zach added.

 

That must have been what he was worried about most because it was like a weight was lifted as soon as he said it. “I’ll consider it.”

 

Zach lit up like he’d already said yes, reaching across the table to squeeze his shoulder. It was enough to almost make up his mind for him.

 

***

 

Justin managed to catch Jessica in between their next two classes. She was at her locker, trying to carefully stack a pile of her textbooks so it wouldn’t fall over the second she launched her locker open the next day. She nodded at him as he came to stand next to her, switching out a few books and shoving them into her bag.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey,” he smiled. “Can I talk to you about something?”

 

“Is it about basketball?” she smirked. Sometimes he forgot just how well she knew him.

 

“Uh, yeah.”

 

She closed her locker carefully, turning to face him. “You should join,” she said.

 

“You think so?”

 

She nodded. “It makes you happy.”

 

He shrugged. “I guess so.”

 

Jessica looked at him for a moment. He could see her thinking over her next words. “You don’t have to worry about Bryce anymore,” she reminded. “Or Monty. Even Scott seems to be … normal, like Zach said. Well, kind of normal. My point is that you don’t have to think about them anymore. You can just _be_.”

 

He nodded, taking all of that in. It almost sounded like she was talking about more than just basketball. “I miss it,” he said.

 

“Then go and sign up. Aren’t tryouts on Wednesday?”

 

“Yeah.” Zach had been counting down, letting him know every day. It must have been part of his plan.

 

“I’ll make a pact with you,” she smiled, holding her hand out. “You join the team and I’ll get back into cheerleading.”

 

“I thought you said you hated cheerleading,” he smirked, reaching out to shake her hand.

 

“How would you know? You never showed up to pep rallies.”

 

“I’m sorry, Jess.”

 

“Oh, shut up,” she laughed, letting go of his hand and shoving at his shoulder playfully. “It’s fine.”

 

***

 

The sheer relief that he felt as soon as Clay closed his bedroom door behind him and they were finally alone was something that he never expected. Some days it was more paramount than others. Today seemed to be one of those days. The second Clay had dumped his bag in a corner, Justin tugged on his arm gently, pulling him into a kiss. Clay kissed him back but Justin could tell that he knew something was wrong.

 

“You ok?” he asked, pulling away.

 

Of course Clay would see right through him. He nodded anyway. “I just missed you.”

 

“Justin, you’ve been seeing me all day.”

 

Yeah, but that wasn’t the point. His fingers tapped Clay’s waist. “I missed being like this with you,” he clarified.

 

Clay looked at him for a moment and then sighed, leading him gently over to the couch and sitting down next to him. “Talk to me,” he said.

 

Justin wasn’t really sure what to say or how to word anything. As he tried to put the pieces together of what he wanted in his head, Clay waited, playing absently with his fingers. It was usually something that helped calm him down, but Justin wasn’t sure if it was working this time. “Should we tell people about us?”

 

He froze. Justin could see him trying to think of an answer, lining the words up in his head. “What do you mean?” he settled on.

 

He shrugged. “I just - do you want people to know?”

 

“All the people that matter to me already know, but I don’t think that’s your point. I didn’t know it bothered you so much.”

 

“No, it’s not - It doesn’t bother me, it’s just - “ he broke off. He wished he had the words because Clay was being as patient as ever and he deserved that much. “Do you ever think about what it would be like to be normal? I wouldn’t mind being able to hold your hand while I walk you to class or, I don’t know, carry your books or something.”

 

Clay cracked a smile. It always so impossible to forget just how adorable Justin could be. “If Jess was here she’d tell you how gay that sounded, but she’s not and I’m not going to.” He paused for a moment, squeezed Justin’s hands. “Of course I think about all of that.”

 

“If I go back to basketball -”

 

“Which you should.”

 

“If I join the team again. I don’t know if we should - if we could.”

 

Clay looked at him for a moment. “You’re worried about your reputation.”

 

It wasn’t a question but Justin shook his head anyway. “Would it complicate things for us?”

 

“I don’t think so. I mean, I’ll still come to all your games if you want me to.”

 

“Of course I want you there.”

 

“Sports are awful,” he smirked, “but watching you do what you do best would be a privilege.”

 

Justin couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Clay at his games. He’d probably talk absolute shit with Alex the whole time, but just knowing that he’d be cheering anyway warmed his heart. “If Zach is right,” he muttered, “and the rest of the guys are mellowing out, then maybe I _could_ come out.”

 

“You know there’s no time limit, right? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

 

“Clay, I just hate hiding you away,” he admitted. “Being scared to even look at you in case people are watching. I don’t want to feel that anymore.”

 

He nodded, understanding. Those weren’t thoughts that he’d had in a while, but Justin seemed to be hanging onto them for whatever reason. They both knew that it would be easier if they could just exist and not have to think about that at all. “If you want to tell people then we’ll tell people. We’ll tell everyone. We’ll put an announcement in Ryan’s zine or something. Whatever you want.”

 

He laughed. “Ryan would kill me.”

 

Clay shrugged. “I think he’d enjoy it. Would give his zine a boost in readers.”

 

“True.”

 

“Just think about it. I don’t want to do something you’ll regret.”

 

Justin shook his head. “I just don’t want anyone to hurt you.”

 

He rolled his eyes. “They wouldn’t. I’m pretty untouchable at the moment, and I haven’t been afraid of people in months.”

 

The two of them looked at each other, a silent decision forming between them. After a moment, Justin leaned in to kiss him, slow and careful at first, almost tentative. It wasn’t long until it grew into something else, something heated with Clay rolling easily into his lap and digging his fingers into his hair. When he pulled away just slightly it was still too soon.

 

“I need to amend something I said earlier,” he muttered, breathing heavy.

 

“Mmm?” Justin mused, trailing kisses down his neck.

 

“I mean,” Clay paused, cleared his throat. “I haven’t seen you play in a while, but I think I was wrong. I think _this_ is what you’re best at.”

 

Justin pulled away, smirking up at him. “Well, who’s talking gay shit now,” he teased.

 

“Shut up.”

 

***

 

Question

 

Answer

 

No Zach I haven’t asked the question yet

 

I know

What’s up?

 

If I join the team again

 

WHEN you join the team again

 

If I told the guys about me and Clay

Do you think they’d be cool with it?

 

Yeah

If not I’ll beat their heads in

 

I don’t know if I can trust it

Even with Bryce and Monty gone

 

No one’s forcing you to come out

 

I know

I just don’t wanna hide anymore

 

Join the team

Hang out with the rest of the guys again

Then see how you feel

 

Yeah

You’re right

 

Give Clay your jacket

 

What?

 

Your letterman jacket

Get him to wear it for the first pep rally

And the first game

 

Zach

 

You know, links you two together but it’s subtle

 

You’re a fucking genius

 

Join the team

Give your boy your jacket

The key to happiness

 

Ok

Sign me up for tryouts on Wednesday

 

Bold of you to assume I hadn’t already

 

Thanks bro

 

Good to have you back

 

***

 

When Wednesday arrived, Justin had no idea why he was so jittery. He could tell that Clay noticed. That he was trying to figure out when the best time to mention it would be. Justin wasn’t really sure what he’d tell him when he did.

 

They were driving to school when Clay brought it up. “You’re not nervous, are you?” It was just a little bit teasing, but in that way that meant he was kind of worried about him. Even if he was staring at the road, Justin knew that Clay would somehow be able to sense that he just rolled his eyes in response. They stopped at a red light and Clay gave him a quick once over.

 

“You need to talk about it?”

 

Sometimes Justin wondered if he’d ever reach Clay’s level of good communication. He was never really sure how to talk about how he was feeling. He knew it was something that he needed to work on. That it was the result of bottling everything up for years and years, and that Clay deserved better than that. He just shrugged. Clay didn’t say anything else. The light changed to green. The car started moving again.

 

The more he thought about it, the more he was sure that Clay was right. He was nervous. That’s what this was. He had no idea why he would be nervous. Tryouts were the easy part. If he was nervous now then how was he going to feel when they made it to their actual games? _If_ he made it that far. Was that what he was worried about? Not making the team? Well, now that the thought was in his head he definitely was. Justin twisted the AUX cord around his fingers absently as he tried to think of a way to word this to Clay, because Clay would know why he was feeling like this. He’d know how to fix it. “It’s been a while,” he settled on.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Since I played.” That had to be what it was. He was worried about being rusty.

 

Clay’s eyes flicked to him for a moment. “It’ll all come back to you when you hit the court,” he said.

 

Justin shrugged again. He sure as hell hoped so. He skipped whatever song was playing. He wasn’t really hearing them anymore. He still had to get through the rest of day before he even made it to practice. God, it was going to be a long day. “You wanna hang back after school for a bit?”

 

Clay pulled into the first parking spot he saw and turned to looked at his boyfriend. He’d never really seen Justin nervous before. Not about something like this. “I’ll bring Sheri and we can go get some food after. Sound good?”

 

He had no idea what he’d done that was good enough for him to deserve Clay. He reached over and squeezed his hand because there were people around and that was about all the physical affection he could give him right now. “Thank you.”

 

***

 

It definitely felt like it was the most stressful hour and a half of his life, but at least Justin fell right back into the routine of it. Somehow the team settled back into the way they’d always been and they worked like a well oiled machine, even managing to fit in the few new players that had showed up. In essence, it all came back to him on the court and Justin couldn’t help but think that Clay was right. Again. When wasn’t he? Even if he knew that everything was working, he hated not getting any feedback. Their coach was giving absolutely nothing away in his expression as he watched them all, and Justin had kind of forgotten that it was like that. It was something that grounded him, encouraged him to play even better than his best in that moment because of course he had something to prove. He couldn’t get back on the team based on history alone. Especially when he’d gone off the rails halfway through last season. He was sure that was something that would get taken into account. He had to push himself.

 

He was standing around with Zach, watching somewhat anxiously as some of the other boys were approached by the coach. Zach was trying to keep up conversation, but Justin couldn’t really focus. He was suddenly nervous again, the adrenaline from practice starting to subside.

 

“You’re going to be fine,” Zach laughed, and clapped him on the shoulder.

 

It startled Justin enough to make him zone back in.

 

“You were playing better than last season.”

 

He smiled. “Thanks, man.”

 

When Coach walked up to the two of them, he told Zach first. Justin had never doubted that he’d make the team. He’d always been one of their best players. It would be foolish to drop him now. It was when those eyes turned to him that he felt his heart start to panic again.

 

“I wasn’t sure whether to expect you back or not,” Coach said.

 

Justin almost winced. He _was_ one of the few people, and even fewer teachers, that tried to reach out to him last year. “Zach convinced me,” he said.

 

“Mhmm. Welcome back.”

 

“Wait? Really?”

 

He rolled his eyes, but smiled for just a second.

 

Suddenly the only thing on Justin’s mind was telling Clay. “Excuse me I have to go tell my -” he didn’t finish the sentence, already moving in the direction of the bleachers. “Clay!” he called, gaining the attention of his two friends that were waiting ever so patiently. With another rush of adrenaline hitting him, he ran over and immediately clasped Clay in a hug. The only thing that mattered was the way Clay laughed and hugged him back. He didn’t even need to say it, Clay already knew.

 

“I knew you could do it,” he said in his ear.

 

When Justin pulled away and the sounds of the gym hit him again, he realised exactly what he’d done, and that everyone had absolutely seen it. _Shit_. The panic must have shown on his face because Clay pulled away completely, breaking all contact, but nodding in understanding. Justin made a show of hugging Sheri as well as if that would act as a buffer. She seemed more than happy to comply.

 

“Should we get some food?” she asked, as she pulled away.

 

He hadn’t realised that tryouts would make him this hungry. He nodded.

 

“Zach!” she called, gaining their friend’s attention. “Food?”

 

He shrugged. “Meet you guys later!”

 

The three of them headed out of the gym and the next thing Justin was aware of was something jumping on him. It took him far too long to realise that it was Jessica, but he still somehow managed to catch her. She was laughing and somehow he registered what that meant.

 

“Guess who’s back on the cheer team, losers!” she said, letting go on him. She was smiling brighter than he’d seen her in awhile, and it was absolutely contagious.

 

He still wasn’t really able to think any cohesive thoughts. “Does that mean I get to see you in that uniform again?”

 

She slapped him across the back of the head.

 

“I was joking!”

 

***

 

Clay held his hand for the entire drive to the diner, even with the girls in the back of the car. Jessica was loudly relaying cheerleading tryouts for them all, but Justin couldn’t really hear her. He wasn’t sure if there was still some adrenaline pumping through him or if that was just Clay. Part of him thought that this was probably dangerous, but he’d seen Alex do far worse things while driving. Once they got to the diner, Justin allowed himself to sit just a little bit closer to Clay than usual. It was just enough to still seem platonic, and almost enough for Justin to be happy with it.

 

They didn’t stay out as long as they usually would. That was probably because Zach texted them that he was just going to head home and spend some time with his sister instead, so they all parted ways a little sooner. Clay dropped the two girls off at Jess’s house on the way through. They briefly had to stop and talk to Clay’s parents. They actually seemed excited for him when Justin mentioned that he’d made the team, and he wasn’t really sure why that almost made him emotional. When Clay’s bedroom door finally closed behind the two of them, Clay kissed him like he needed it just as much and if Justin had anything to tell him it was promptly forgotten.

 

“I’m so proud of you,” Clay said, pulling away just enough that he could smile at him.

 

Justin had no idea what to say to that. They weren’t words that he heard too often. He somehow managed to tug Clay even closer to him as a response. “You were right,” he muttered. “I really missed it.”

 

“I’m glad you’re back then. I don’t think I’ve seen you happier.”

 

“I’m happiest with you.” He hadn’t quite meant to say it. They weren’t words that he often admitted, especially out loud, but with the way that Clay was smiling at him, he genuinely couldn’t help himself. When Clay pulled him into another kiss, that definitely helped.

 

***

 

There were some days when Justin wondered if he was ever going to get used to feeling content like this. Like when he had his head in Clap’s lap while they were both reading a comic book or Clay was scrolling through his phone, or going over his homework. When it was late at night and nothing else in the world mattered but the two of them. When he didn’t have to worry about being alert all the time, and he could just _exist_. Justin was sure that there was nothing softer than when Clay absently ran his fingers through his hair when he was stuck on an algebra problem, or couldn’t think of the right word for an essay. If he could live his life solely in these moments, he probably wouldn’t hesitate to do so.

 

It was in one of those moments that he decided it would be a good time to bring up the jacket thing. There was less than a week left until the first game of the season. Friday had already been partially cleared for the pep rally. Practices had already started ramping up, and the team were starting to remain in a constant state of anticipation.

 

“Can I talk to you about something?” he muttered once Clay had finished off whatever homework he’d been working through and started scrolling on his phone instead.

 

Clay put his phone down without a second thought and smiled at him. “Everything ok?”

 

“Does something have to be wrong for me to want to talk to you?”

 

He laughed. “Does something have to be wrong for me to ask you if you’re ok?”

 

“Typically, yes?”

 

The two of them looked at each other for a second before laughing. Justin sat up, because this should probably be a more serious moment, and took Clay’s hands in his.

 

“I’ve been thinking about some stuff,” he said.

 

Clay just nodded, prompting him to continue.

 

“Mostly about everyone finding out about us. Zach gave me an idea and I think it might kind of work.”

 

He smiled. “That would be a first.”

 

Justin laughed. “Yeah. Maybe.”

 

Clay locked their fingers together, squeezing his hand gently. “What’s the idea?”

 

He looked down at their hands. The more he’d thought about people knowing about them, the more he’d realised that he didn’t really care about any of it. People knowing was hardly the worst thing in the world. Justin wasn’t even in a position that people outside of his friends _mattered_ anymore. Even being back on the team hadn’t changed that. Whatever reputation he’d built up over time wasn’t something he thought about anymore. “Would you maybe consider … wearing my jacket at the pep rally? Or whatever.” It came out a lot more stumbly than he’d intended it to, which made him wince, but as he looked up at Clay, he was smiling.

 

“Your letterman jacket?” he asked. “As in the one you wear so that everyone knows how great you are?”

 

“Yeah. The other guys do it all the time. When their girlfriends aren’t cheering or whatever.” He shrugged.

 

“It’s subtle.”

 

“Zach said something like it links you to me, I guess. Makes you mine. Well, not mine but … you know …” he trailed off, avoiding his eyes.

 

“Firstly, I’m all yours,” Clay said. Justin had no idea how he could admit things like that so easily. Or if Clay knew how it made him feel when he did. “I think it’s a good idea, Justin.”

 

***

 

Maybe this wasn’t the best place to do this, but Justin had been feeling just that little more confident lately. Especially knowing that Clay would be wearing his jacket at the pep rally tomorrow. He didn’t have anything to hide anymore. Not to mention, everyone was already in such a good mood from practice, and with the game tomorrow spirits were high. If there was a right time to come out, it was definitely now. All the guys were laughing amongst themselves, a million conversations happening around the room. Far too many for Justin to even hear one of them. Zach nudged him to get his attention. Justin was sure that he could tell there was something on his mind, and what was on his mind in particular.

 

“You gonna say something?” he asked.

 

Justin shrugged one shoulder.

 

Zach shoved at him again, offering him a reassuring smile.

 

He wasn’t exactly sure what came over him, but he yelled out to bring the room to complete silence. As soon as it did, he felt instant regret as most of the boys in the room turned to face him. _Shit_. “I’m bi,” he said, trying to make this really casual even if it didn’t quite feel that way.

 

The locker room stayed quiet and the longer the seconds dragged on, the worse Justin felt.

 

“You’re bi?” Scott asked.

 

“Yeah?” He wasn’t sure why it sounded like a question.

 

He laughed. “So’s Zach and like half this school. You’re not special, Justin.”

 

There was an instant amount of jabs and laughs and Justin had never felt more relieved in his life. “Yeah. Whatever,” he smiled.

 

***

 

“You sure about this?”

 

Justin hadn’t really heard him. The game was the furthest thing from his mind at the moment. The reaction of his peers, whatever that would be, didn’t matter at all. He was far too distracted by Clay in his jacket. He was already planning out a lengthy thank you text to Zach because god this had been a good idea. He wished that he could tell Clay that. Maybe he’d have to courage later in the day.

 

“Justin?”

 

He blinked. “What?”

 

Clay smiled. He picked up his backpack and threw it over his shoulder easily, taking a few steps closer to him. “You’re not nervous, are you?” he teased.

 

Justin shook his head, already reaching out to pull Clay closer to him. He always needed him so much closer. “Not at all.”

 

He hesitated for just a moment. Something flashed in his eyes. Worry. “Justin, if this goes badly -”

 

“I don’t care,” he cut him off.

 

He nodded, pulled on the front of Justin’s shirt until he was close enough to kiss him. “You gonna win me a game today?”

 

As Justin looked at him he was pretty sure that he’d already won. “I hope so.”

 

***

 

Being the first game of the season, the gym was basically packed out. Clay hadn’t been to any games for a while. The last one was probably during the last basketball season. It was kind of weird to think about how different things were then. He and Justin didn’t even _talk_ to each other at that point. He was sitting between Sheri and Alex. Courtney was on Sheri’s other side, the two of them were talking about one of the classes they had together. If he was being quite honest, Clay couldn’t really hear them. He couldn’t really hear much of anything. They’d somehow managed to get the front row. Part of him wondered if that was Sheri’s way of getting him as close to Justin as she could. He guessed he’d have to thank her for that. There were still people filing in, meeting up with their friends and piling onto the bleachers.

 

“Is it alright if I sit here?”

 

The four of them looked up at Tyler. He was holding his camera tightly in his hands and somehow looking even more nervous than usual.

 

Alex shrugged. “Sure.”

 

Tyler’s eyes flicked between him and the ground. He took the empty spot next to him. “I need to be close enough to an aisle that I can jump up whenever there’s something worth taking,” he tapped his camera absently, not looking at any of them.

 

“That makes a lot of sense,” Sheri said. She was smiling over at him.

 

It took him a second, but he returned her smile.

 

Their conversations were brought to a halt as the teams entered the court. Clay almost felt sorry for the opposing team. The Liberty Tigers were soaking up more support than he thought possible. The energy in the room would definitely push them to do their best. As soon as his eyes landed on Justin, they didn’t move.

 

***

 

The noise in the auditorium in that moment was something almost animalistic. The excitement in the room was contagious as the Tigers jumped around and started piling together in a hug. It hadn’t been a close victory, and that was probably the best part about it. They’d absolutely throttled their competition.

 

“This is why I hate sports,” Alex said next to him.

 

He agreed because the noise was borderline unbearable, but his eyes were trained on Justin and the team and he couldn’t help but smile at just how happy they were. Eventually the team broke off, some of them heading towards the showers, some heading towards the cheerleaders to hug their girlfriends. Justin locked eyes with him across the gym -  and _god_ Clay wished he could be that happy forever - before bounding over. Clay was just expecting him to say hi, but he pulled him into a kiss instead as if it was the only thing that mattered, even in this packed gym with basically the whole school. Clay was sure that the squeal to his right came from Sheri.

 

“We won,” Justin said as he pulled away.

 

 _I won_ , he thought, looking up at him. “You could have at least showered first,” he joked.

 

Justin didn’t miss a beat before he replied, “I thought you liked me hot like this?”

 

If Clay hadn’t been aware of the whispers around them before, he was very aware of them now. Justin continued to smile at him and he was sure that he starting to turn very red.

 

“Justin!” Zach called, gesturing for him to come back over.

 

“I’ll see you guys later,” he said, eyes briefly flicking to the others before winking at Clay and then jogging off to head to the locker room with Zach.

 

Clay could feel his heart beating so heavily in his chest and he wasn’t sure if it was because of embarrassment, panic or just his boyfriend in general. “He’s the worst,” he found himself saying. He heard Sheri giggle at that and didn’t need to look up to know that Alex rolled his eyes in response. He pulled Justin’s jacket tighter around himself and smiled.

 

“Tyler, please tell me you got that,” Sheri beamed, a hand resting against Clay’s back as she leaned towards the other boys.

 

“Please, I’m a professional.” He paused as if waiting for an insult but Sheri laughed again instead. He smiled. “Guess I better start developing these. I think Ryan will want some stuff for his zine.”

 

“I’ll go with you,” Alex said, as Tyler stood up.

 

“Really?”

 

A beat. “I mean, if you want me to.”

 

He smiled, seeming very conscious of the others. His eyes flicked to Sheri who gave him an encouraging nod. “I want you to,” he replied.

 

Alex looked at him for a moment before smiling and getting to his feet. He mentioned something about his legs not being used to sitting for so long which lead to him holding onto Tyler’s arm to keep himself steady as they headed out of the gym.

 

Next to him, Clay noticed Sheri punched the air in some sort of triumph. “Finally! They’re going to be so _cute_ together.”

 

He blinked at her for a moment. Courtney was beaming on her other side and agreeing. “What do you mean ‘finally’?” he asked.

 

“Oh, Tyler’s had a crush on Alex since he saved him from being beaten up by Monty last year,” she explained.

 

“Wait, Alex saved Tyler from being beaten up by Monty?”

 

Sheri looked at him for a moment. He could tell that she was trying to fight off a laugh, Courtney wasn’t as lucky. Sheri placed a hand on his arm gently. “It’s ok, Clay. You’re pretty so you don’t have to be smart.”

 

He just looked at her. She smirked at him.

 

“So are we waiting here for your boy or should we head out?” she asked.

 

Clay shrugged. “Guess it doesn’t matter.”

 

Jessica had split off from the rest of the cheerleaders and was heading over to them. “How’d I do?” she asked, taking Alex’s now vacant spot next to Clay. She was smiling and Clay didn’t think he could remember the last time she looked this happy. Maybe games weren’t so bad after all.

 

“I don’t know anything about cheerleading,” he replied, “but you looked good.”

 

She rolled her eyes at him, batted at his shoulder lightly. “That’s not the right answer.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

***

 

Justin was still on such a high when the two of them got back to Clay’s room that night. He was just so _happy_. He hadn’t even realised just how much basketball would help with that. He felt like he was on top of the world. As he watched Clay close his bedroom door behind them, suddenly there were words spilling out of him.

 

“I love you.” He hadn’t even thought before he said them, they’d just come out. He saw Clay’s eyes widen as he registered them and part of him wanted to instantly panic. Yes, this was something he’d wanted to tell him, and he’d wanted that for a while, but they were never words that came easy to him. Not knowing what Clay’s reaction would be scared him as well.

 

“What?”

 

Justin swallowed, tried to fight off the part of him that was trying to tell him he’d made a mistake. That this could ruin what they had. He kept his eyes on Clay, noting what looked an awful lot like hope in his eyes. He grabbed onto the front of the jacket and gently tugged Clay closer to him. “I love you, and that jacket looks so much better on you.”

 

The way Clay smiled at him made him feel like there was nothing else in the world. Clay all but melted into him, a hand sliding easily into Justin’s hair as he kissed him. When he pulled away, he was still smiling. “I love you too.”

 

“Really?”

 

He laughed. “Really really.”

 

Justin had no idea what to say. He hadn’t allowed himself to consider Clay saying the words back. He swallowed, tears starting to well in his eyes because this was so much all at once and he was so fucking _happy_. Clay pulled him into a hug and he buried his head against his shoulder. “Sorry,” he muttered.

 

“It’s ok. I get it.”

 

He’d never been more grateful for how Clay just _understood_ him. He had no idea how he’d word this to anyone else. He shifted, looking at Clay for a moment before capturing his lips in a kiss. Clay kissed him back. Hard. Justin had never felt more content in his life.

 

“You ok?” he asked, pulling away again.

 

He nodded, stroked Clay’s cheek gently. “Yeah.”

 

***

 

Justin: I love my boyfriend

 

Alex: We know

 

Zach: What Alex said

 

Jess: That’s gay, Justin

 

Sheri: I’m crying

 

Ryan: Finally

 

Courtney: Y e s

 

Tony: Who doesn’t

**Author's Note:**

> I know the timeline for this doesn’t really fit into the show. The bad stuff in season two didn’t really happen unless relevant (Alex’s limp is probably the only thing that’s still in this lmao). Also just trust me with Alex/Tyler. They’re Good.
> 
> I’m over at potter-awakening on Tumblr if you wanna chat !!


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